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Wedding planning is a lot of fun, but it can be difficult as well, especially when it comes to conversations relating to who’s paying for what. These conversations are often uncomfortable but need to be had to avoid any misalignment of expectations of everyone who’s contributing to your wedding. Below are 7 money conversations you should have to make sure your family, wedding party and even your fiancé are happy with how your wedding money is handled.
#1: If your and/or your fiancé’s parents are paying for any part of the wedding, you should find out…
…how they’re expecting you to spend the money. But before sitting them down for this conversation, discuss with your fiancé those areas of the wedding where you both are looking for help from your parents. Then have your parents clarify what aspects of the wedding they were thinking of helping you with and see whether those align with what you were hoping for. If there are any misalignments, explain to them what you and your fiancé would like to decide between yourselves and WHY it’s important for you to do so. Explaining the WHY is helpful for your parents to understand where you’re coming from and thus, makes it easier for them to come on board with you.
#2: Your fiancé needs to be comfortable with how money is being spent on the wedding too
You may be overlooking this part because you’re treating yourselves as one person. The truth is everyone has their non-negotiables on everything and making sure you know each other’s non-negotiables on what you want to include in your wedding a great way to avoid any disagreement later on. Another advantage of you being on the same page is that you can handle other difficult conversations with other people together (without disagreeing with each other while doing that!)
#3: Make sure your fiancé is OK with you being the sole decision maker on certain aspects of the wedding
As we all know, the Groom is only partially involved in the wedding planning process :). However, making sure that he knows and is cool with the areas where you’ll be making decisions is a nice gesture that shows him your thoughtfulness and respect for him.
#4: Set expectations for expenses with your wedding party from the get go
If you ever have been in a wedding, you know it can be costly between the bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair and makeup, bachelorette’s party, bridal shower, hotel room and sometimes airfare. Write out all of the expenses that you’re expecting your bridesmaids to cover and either ask your Maid of Honor / Best Man to pass it on to the wedding party or communicate that yourself. This exercise will also help put you in their shoes in case you need to adjust how much your wedding party is expected to spend on your wedding. Remember: being upfront and genuine about these expenses is always a better option than being unclear or dismissing the importance of this. After all, these guys are your siblings, close friends or family members and upsetting them because of money is the last thing you want to do.
#5: If a bridesmaid tells you she can’t make it work because of the money
Expenses for bridesmaids can add up to a lot. Something you can do to alleviate their costs is to make certain things optional for them. Are identical shoes required or will a pair of similar style and color do? Is hair and makeup by a professional a must or can they style themselves? Set your expectations but make certain things optional for your bridesmaids is a compromise that will take pressure off of your bridesmaids, which will take your stress away as well.
#6: If you have a big wedding party and need them to help pay for accommodations the night before the wedding
Hotel for the night before the wedding is typically covered for the wedding party by you. However, if you have a large wedding party and need your pals to chip in or pay for their hotel the night before, forgo something that is of less importance for you. This could be their wedding gift or bridal shower gift or bridal shower expenses. Tell them that you just want them to be part of the festivity and offer them different ways you can make it work together.
#7: You’re in love with a potential vendor’s work but their rate is a little high for your budget
Just tell them exactly that and ask if there is any way they can adjust their package offer. I think most vendors will feel flattered that you’re willing put in more effort in order to work with them (I know I do :)). Just like with your family and friends, tell them your non-negotiables and ask if they would be willing to take off some items that you don’t necessary need for you. That’s why I have a bespoke package where you can tick everything you’re looking for and what budget you have so that I can customize a package just for you.
I hope these tips are helpful in your wedding planning! If you like to keep hearing more, sign up for my email list below to receive more tips on how to plan a stress-free wedding.
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